How do you feel about those conversations that start off with, "Hi, can you do me a favor?" Do you find yourself thinking, "Oh, no, not again!" or "What do they want this time?" We all know people who need our help, and it is good to care for others. On the other hand, constantly going out of your way to do things for other people can be taxing on your life. Where do you draw the line?

When a friend or a family member asks you a favor, do you always say yes? What if you are extremely busy with your own plans, or you set an agenda to finally get something done?

Many people are ready and willing to help others in need, and that is excellent. Sometimes, however, people do way too much for other people at the expense of their own quality of life. While it is a wonderful thing to assist other people, we all need to keep a delicate balance of giving and keeping for ourselves.

Basically, when a person just can’t say no to someone who asks a favor, they are just a people pleaser. Those who worry that saying no is always wrong need a bit more balance.

The Assesment
How do you know if you are truly a people pleasure? Here is a quick quiz to help you figure things out.

1. You have several important things on your to do list today, and your best friend asks you to baby sit tonight, just for an hour. You

How did you do?

Self-Pleaser. If you answered mostly ‘a’ you probably don’t think of other’s very much. You are a busy individual, and you are driven to succeed. The needs of others don’t really fit well in your equations. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself, but lending a helping hand once in a while is a good thing. Give it a try more often, you may find it rewarding. You don’t always have to make a sacrifice to help others, and you may want to try and think of others more.

Pleasant pleaser. If you answered mostly ‘b’ you probably have a pretty balanced lifestyle. You understand the importance of caring for others. You also understand that to truly enjoy helping others, you sometimes have to put yourself first. Otherwise you won’t have the energy to give more to others when they need it. As long as you don’t go neglected, helping someone out is a sure thing.

People pleaser. If you answered mostly ‘c’ you probably have trouble saying no to other people. You may be afraid of disappointing them. You might feel guilty if you do something just for you. Try to think things through. Helping other people is great, but you can truly love yourself and offer a less stressed and better you if you take better care of yourself. Don’t be afraid of the word no sometimes and balance your life with a little ‘me time.’

If you had mixed results, you might be leaning towards one extreme or the other. The important thing is that you realize you need to have balance.

No matter what your results are, it is important to keep in mind that others should be important to you, and your needs should also be important. If you find yourself neglecting others or yourself, reevaluate your priorities. You don’t have to please everyone, but you should do what makes you happy, at least sometimes.


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